Misunderstanding

“What’s on TV tonight?” I asked my nearly 14-year-old daughter Maria. “Kid’s Choice Awards,” she said. I didn’t hear her correctly, so I replied, “Yes, I always try to use a good choice of words.” Then I turned to see Maria doubled over in laughter so hard that no sound was emanating from her mouth. That’s when I put 2 and 2 together and realized she had said, “Kid’s Choice Awards.”

No matter how close two people are and no matter how well they understand one another, communication can break down. Sometimes, the communication breakdown has humorous results, as in the current circumstance. Other times, a communication breakdown results in conflict, fighting, genocide, or war.

As we make a “good choice of words,” let’s not assume that the listener actually hears what we say. Let’s verify. And verify again. And give others the benefit of the doubt. And not jump to conclusions. Misunderstanding is easy. Ending a war is hard.

-- Pat Jones

Anne Welsh Salon, Wi-Fi, Fiddler on the Roof

I used free wi-fi at Anne Welsh Salon this morning and learned that I am the very first customer of this service. So, if you're in the area of Mt. Vernon Avenue and need to get a haircut and surf the web, try out Anne Welsh Salon, 2100 Mt. Vernon Avenue, Alexandria, VA 22301.

By the way, my son Sam who received the haircut today is performing in T.C. Williams' High School production of Fiddler on the Roof on May 1, 2, 8, and 9. Visit the T.C. Williams High School website for further details.

-- Pat Jones

The Giver

What would a world without pain be like? What about a world without color, passion, or the ability to choose your livelihood? That’s the premise of The Giver by Lois Lowry, a book my daughter Maria suggested I read. In this fictional society, the elders from long ago – from back and back and back – decided that the world would be more livable if they removed pain from people’s lives. In the process, they also removed the things that make life complex and interesting like individuality, competition, challenge, physical intimacy, romance, and love. To make this world work, the elders embodied all of these difficult feelings and emotions in one person: “the giver” who is also the receiver of memory, the person who remembers what the world was like before pain was removed from people’s lives. I think The Giver is an excellent Lenten read. It suggests that it’s possible to live a life without pain. But that also demands that you live without the things that make life most meaningful: choice, passion, joy, and love. The giver I know, Jesus the Lord, is the one who through his passion, death and resurrection, redeems our pain and gives us a glimpse of God’s great joy.

-- Pat Jones

The Shack (2)

I just read William P. Young’s The Shack. It’s an extraordinary book. In it, Young paints a portrait of the three persons of the Trinity through the conversations that God has with a man who is mourning the death of his young daughter and has been on a difficult and painful journey to find meaning in his life once again. There were several big epiphanies for me. One is God’s ability to be bound by self-imposed limits. God’s ability to experience “limits” does not suggest any lessening of God’s power and omnipotence. The limits are simply another expression of God’s love for humanity and the desire to better experience humanity through these limits. Another epiphany relates to the intimate relationship among the three persons of the Trinity as, for instance, when “Papa,” a female figure who portrays the person of God the Father, reveals deep scars on her wrists, a result of “Papa’s” immediate and intimate connectedness with Jesus and the crucifixion. Perhaps the most amazing epiphany for me is the portrayal of the Holy Spirit though the character known as “Sarayu,” a twinkling, sparkling, almost wave-based being who speaks to the protagonist as easily as “Papa” or Jesus does.

This book helped to explode the fairy tale images I may have had about God. It revealed to me a God who is not involved in changing the outcomes that happen as a result of human actions but who definitely IS fully engaged in trying to establish a relationship with every human being so that each person can experience God’s love and manifest that love in relationship with others. Read The Shack. It will be a revelation no matter what your current beliefs.

-- Pat Jones

Unique like us

I've discovered lots of beautiful things here in Jervis Bay, Australia. Seeing myriad seashells on these white sandy beaches, it occurred to me that the beaches themselves represent millions of years of shells being pulverized by the surf and one another. And yet individual seashells are still here. Ribbed white clamshells and spiral shaped nautiluses and multicolored keyhole shells. Millions of shells in every shape, size, color, and texture. Whole shells and broken shells. Each one unique. And beautiful. Like us.

-- Pat Jones

Attentive

I’m in Australia. Driving on the left side of the road, I find I’m much more attentive than when I’m back home in the U.S. I’m more attentive to everything connected with driving: my mirrors, turn signal, position of the steering wheel (on the right), and, of course, other vehicles. Driving over here is serious business. Don’t get distracted or you might go left when you should go right.

Lent is a time for being attentive. Lent makes me much more attentive to all the things I’m thankful for: family, friends, relationships, having a great job. Love.

-- Pat Jones

Saying "Yes"

In today’s gospel, Jesus says to the crowd and his disciples, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” These are hard, challenging words. Deny yourself. Take up your cross. Follow me. Not an easy road.

An article by Layng Martine, Jr., in today’s New York Times describes the journey of one couple that embraces both “denying yourself” and “saying yes.”

Layng relates how his wife Linda was involved in a terrible automobile accident that left her a paraplegic. Now her body works only from the chest up. As a result of the accident, Linda can no longer engage in many of the physical activities that once defined her life, like hiking mountains, riding waves, and running marathons. Layng and Linda have discovered that their journey together requires much more effort, creativity and forethought than ever before just to get from one place to the next.

“We know that most people — strangers, anywhere — will knock themselves out to help us if we explain what we need,” Martine explains. “We know to say ‘Yes’ to nearly everything because there is probably a way to do it. We know there is happiness available every day, most of it requiring more effort than money. And effort seems like a small price to pay for a day at the beach, a trip to New York or for dinner up eight steps to a friend’s home.”

Following the accident, Layng and Linda discovered they have a new cross to bear. But they also discovered that saying “yes,” even to strangers, can make the cross easier to bear and permit them to live a life of fullness.

-- Pat Jones

Sunny and Serene

My good friend Sally celebrates a big birthday today. I won’t tell you the exact number, but she’s now 10 years eligible for AARP membership. You get the idea.

Sally and I have worked together for the last two years, but we’ve been friends more than twenty. When I was considering hiring Sally, the first issue we discussed was our friendship. Both of us felt that our friendship was important and we didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize it. So, we proceeded cautiously, gingerly, hopeful that we could work together and still remain good friends. I think we’ve succeeded. In fact, I think we’re even better friends now because we spend more time together and know more things about each other’s lives.

I describe Sally to others as “sunny and serene.” She has a beautiful smile, a generous heart, and a young face that belies her chronological age by at least ten years. Sally’s family members laugh at the thought that she’s sunny and serene; they know a different Sally than I do.

I also know a different Sally, one with an edge that complements sunny and serene. We recently painted and redecorated our offices. In the planning stage before the work began, a group of our staff gathered to talk about options. A couple of staff members said they would like to have one wall of their individual offices painted with an accent color. Sally listened very patiently and, mindful of budget constraints and the vagaries of egalitarianism and vanity, declared, “There will be NO accent walls in this office.” That was the end of it.

I love Sally. She reminds me of our Saint Clement community. We’re sunny and serene. We have a beautiful smile and a generous heart. But we also have an edge; an edge that is mindful of what’s most important in life and in the world. That’s why we’re engaged in so many efforts that reach beyond the boundaries of our small community: a hypothermia shelter for men in winter; bag lunches for the soup kitchen; thrift shop; work with ALIVE (Alexandrians Involved Ecumenically), and so many other external ministries that look out into the world.

Here at Saint Clement, we are sunny and serene; and we have an edge. Happy Birthday, Sally! Thanks for helping me appreciate this place that I love so much.

-- Pat Jones

Lift Up Your Voice

Recently I had a conversation with Patrick Crerar about evangelism. I’ve been reflecting deeply on what he said: “Evangelism is about sharing the Good News and joy we have with those who either have not heard it, forgotten it, allowed themselves to get distracted, or otherwise are not receiving the hope in Christ. Evangelism is about them."

I began this blog (literally, “web log”) as a way to share my reflections and yours on the life of our community here at the Church of Saint Clement. I am now convinced that this blog has a much larger and more important mission. This blog is about sharing the Good News and joy we have with those who either have not heard it, forgotten it, allowed themselves to get distracted, or otherwise are not receiving the hope in Christ.

You can help your neighbor to hear and share the Good News. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable speaking face to face with others about your faith. That’s okay; you’re not alone. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable working in a soup kitchen or spending the night in a hypothermia shelter giving comfort to men who seek refuge on a cold winter’s night. That’s okay too. But, if you are reading these words right now, then you do have the gift of reading. And if you have the gift of reading, in all likelihood you also have the gift of writing. At the very least you can write, “Amen.”

I invite you to write your “Amen” to the reflections and comments in this blog. Your Amen, YOUR VOICE could be the voice that helps someone who is distracted to find and receive the Good News and joy we have. YOUR VOICE could be the voice that calls someone out of darkness into the light of Christ.

I invite you -- as you read the reflections on this blog -- to lift up your voice. Think about the words of Jesus in Matthew 25:

Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you? The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

You can do something for one of the least of your brothers simply by being a witness to your own thoughts about the reflections on this blog. Write a comment on this blog. It’s simple. Click here to learn how. Someone, somewhere will read your words on this blog -- and your words will bring them home.

“Peace be with you.”

-- Pat Jones

A Special Place

Lent is the time of year when I go on my annual spiritual retreat. Since 1980, I have joined a group of men at Loyola House of Retreats in Morristown, New Jersey for a silent weekend spiritual retreat. I say silent. It’s the 75 or so men who make the retreat who remain silent. There is talking, but that’s done by one of the 6 or 7 Jesuits who live in the retreat house. Periodically throughout the weekend, all the men gather in chapel to hear a talk or “reflection for prayer” given by one of the Jesuits. These talks are thoughtful, provocative, biblical, challenging, and reflective. They cause you to reflect on your relationship with God and to take a closer walk with the Lord.

My father introduced me to this form of retreat in 1980. Since then, I’ve made 22 or 23 such retreats annually. I’ve missed a few years (babies, work, travel, etc.), but I try not to miss it. I like to say it’s the one thing during the year that I do JUST FOR ME. In reality, I’m doing it for everyone whose life is touched by mine because I think I become a better man and a better person for having gone on this retreat once a year.

I asked my brother Andy how it makes him feel to go on a retreat at Loyola. He said, “I feel wonderful because the Loyola experience reminds me how much God loves me no matter what, and that with God on our side, we have the courage to try anything we desire. I also feel closer to Dad and Uncle Bob, because Loyola was such an important part of their lives.”

-- Pat Jones

A Brother's Love

A good friend lost his brother this week. He was only 52. This news touches me deeply because I have two brothers who are not much older; I am 50. When I spoke to my friend the other day, he sounded like his normal self but said the news was still sinking in.

My friend noted that Garrison Keillor also lost a brother this week and wrote a short essay about it on Salon.com. Keillor describes his brother as an engineer and a sailor who loved the thrill of tacking back and forth in his small craft either on water or on ice. "He switched careers from mechanical to coastal engineering so as to get himself out on boats," Keillor says. "Philip practiced the delicate art of brotherly love. He always knew what you were doing and he kept his critical opinions to himself. He called me once to ask how I was doing and I knew without his saying so that he knew about some nonsense I was up to and wanted me to stop it and I did stop it without his ever mentioning it. That's how he worked, no motor, just angles."

I asked my friend what message he would like to convey to those who ask about flowers or memorial gifts. He responded, "In lieu of flowers please give a thought to those who shared your childhood because even as you remember them, so they remember you, better than you might think."

-- Pat Jones

The Gospel Call from the Pages of the Post

We, all of us, are fortunate to live in a metro area populated by some of the most brilliant minds and commentators in the world. You don’t have to look far to find them. And sometimes they speak a gospel message.

E. J. Dionne’s column in Monday’s Washington Post contains one such message. Here is what he says about the radical call of Christianity – through his own lens as a political columnist: “The central issue in American politics now is whether the country should reverse a three-decade-long trend of rising inequality in incomes and wealth. Politicians will say lots of things in the coming weeks, but they should be pushed relentlessly to address the bottom-line question: Do they believe that a fairer distribution of capitalism's bounty is essential to repairing a sick economy? Everything else is a subsidiary issue.”

Wow! That is sermon-on-the-mount quality writing. Jesus could not have had a better speech writer. If your copy of Monday’s Post is now wrapped around a fish or serving as bird cage liner, you can read the entire column here.

-- Pat Jones

"Sharing the Good News and Joy We Have"

The new vestry of Saint Clement held a half day retreat at the home of our rector, the Rev. John Hortum, on February 14, Saint Valentine's Day. The two main goals of this retreat were to get to know one another and to assign (or receive) our ministries for the year. You can see the names of the vestry and their respective ministries on the official website of the Church of Saint Clement.

Our deacon, Cynthia Park, told us a wonderful story about a group of schoolchildren with whom she was privileged to work on a stage play. She described for us the way in which these children decided among themselves who should play each role. It was a wonderful and touching story that revealed how insightful and caring children can be with one another. Find Cynthia in Marshall Rutter Hall after Eucharist one Sunday and ask her to tell you the whole story. You'll like it.

Anyway, back to the retreat. To find the right ministry for each vestry member, we went through a process of "discernment." I suppose you can define discernment in a bunch of different ways. In our case, we listened to each person discuss which ministry (or ministries) they were interested in and then did a little sorting out at the end. It would be a stretch to say that each person got the ministry that he or she most desired, but by the end of the retreat, all the ministries had been assigned and no one came to blows. That's probably a victory for any vestry. But I must say that this vestry -- to a person -- is one of the most earnest and passionate groups of people I've ever had the pleasure to be in a room with for five hours. And I look forward to spending more time with them in the months to come.

Well, I got the "Evangelism" ministry. I sought it and am glad I got it. I wrote to the parish Yahoo group asking for ideas and advice about evangelism. Marsha Bell wrote to me -- somewhat tongue in cheek, I'm sure -- "I don't know about that. I'm an Episcopalian, and every time we hear the word evangelism, we run for the hills."

Another response that really made me think came from Patrick Crerar, Assistant Rector at Grace Episcopal Church. Many parishioners know Patrick from his service as deacon at Saint Clement's several years back. Patrick wrote me this: "The only other suggestion I have is that your group remember that Evangelism is not about us. It is not about filling our pews or increasing our pledge base. Evangelism is about sharing the Good News and joy we have with those who either have not heard it, forgotten it, allowed themselves to get distracted, or otherwise are not receiving the hope in Christ. Evangelism is about them."

What a wonderful sentiment. Let's always remember: Evangelism is about them.

-- Pat Jones

The Shack

The Church of Saint Clement is reading The Shack by William P. Young as a meditation for Lent. Each Wednesday evening during Lent following the 6:30 p.m. simple supper, parishioners will gather to talk about themes from this highly praised book.

Patrick M. Roddy, the Emmy Award winning producer for ABC News said, “The Shack is a one of a kind invitation to journey to the very heart of God. Through my tears and cheers, I have been indeed transformed by the tender mercy with which William Paul Young opened the veil that too often separated me from God and from myself.”

Read more editorial reviews of The Shack here.

-- Pat Jones

The 3 Rs

There is a priest I know who many years ago delivered a sermon on the first Sunday of Lent that began with these three words: “Reform, repent, reconcile.” I don’t remember much else about the sermon that day. But I will never forget that priest or those three words.

On a snowy Monday in Alexandria, when all the world is quiet -- or at least it seems quiet for short periods of time -- it’s useful for me to think of those words and immerse myself in the call to holiness.

-- Pat Jones

Blogging 101

Some of us (including your moderator) are new to blogging. So I thought I would offer a step-by-step guide to help you if you want to post a comment to this blog. It can be challenging if you’ve never blogged before. And the procedure for posting comments may vary from blog to blog. In any case, this is what you should do if you want to post a comment to THIS blog:

1. On the main blog page, underneath the posting where you want to offer a comment, click on the word “comments.” This will take you to a page that says “Post a comment on: Reflections from Saint Clement” at the top of the page.
2. When you get to the page for posting a comment, type your comment in the box underneath the words “Leave your comment.”
3. In the small blank box next to “Word verification,” type into that box the wavy characters that you see above the box.
4, This step (I’m guessing) seems to be the one that’s tripping people up. If the Google/Blogger username and password route doesn’t work for you, click on the circle next to the word “Anonymous.” It’s near the bottom of the page. This means you don’t need to provide any username or password or prove who you are.
5. Finally, click on the button that says, “Publish Your Comment.” That should do it.

Following these steps should allow you to post a comment without registering. I’m the moderator of the blog and receive an email every time someone posts a comment. I know we will have many inspired commentaries. I’ll also be on the lookout for occasional inappropriate comments. Thanks for reading.

-- Pat Jones

God's Covenant with All Creation

Dear Friends,

Today we marked the First Sunday of Lent listening to an inspired sermon by the Rev. Dr. Kate Sonderegger. The readings tell us about God's covenant with Noah following the great flood and the new covenant foreshadowed by Jesus's baptism in the Jordan River. In the Genesis reading, God tells Noah that he is placing a bow in the heavens as a sign that "the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh." The bow represents a limitation on the despair that may befall humanity. In a similar fashion, the Gospel of Mark tells us there is a new name for the limit on our despair. That name is Jesus. I know I'm not doing justice to Kate's wonderful sermon, but I thought you should know about the amazing preaching we experienced at the 10:00 a.m. Eucharist today. Many blessings on you!

-- Pat Jones (Vestry member, evangelism)